One-Liners
11 jokes
A one-liner has no room to warm you up. Setup and punchline share a single sentence, so every word has to earn its place and the last word has to do the damage. It is the most unforgiving format in comedy and the most useful one in real life.
Use these when you have exactly one shot: a toast, a group chat, an awkward silence in a lift. If you need something longer, the dad jokes and puns sections give you a little more runway.
Frequently asked questions
- How long can a one-liner be?
- One sentence. The moment it needs a second sentence to set up, it has become a short joke instead — still funny, just a different tool.
- Are one-liners good for speeches?
- They are the safest choice. Short jokes fail quietly if they miss, while a long story that dies takes the whole room with it.
Every one-liners on one page
Each joke has its own page with the punchline, a share link and related jokes. Browse the full list below.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
- I'm terrified of elevators.
- Parallel lines have so much in common.
- Jeg har en fobi for hastighedsbump.
- I have a joke about chemistry,
- My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.
- I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
- Two fish are in a tank.
- I'm on a whiskey diet.
- Jeg spurgte min hund, hvad der er over huset.
- Jeg gav min tid til frivilligt arbejde.
Related reading
Funny Jokes
Most joke lists are padded. This one is not: every entry below has been picked because it survives being read on a screen with no delivery, no timing and no laughing friend nearby to help it along. If a joke only works when a comedian says it, it did not make the list.
Short Jokes
A short joke has nowhere to hide. There is no story to carry a weak ending and no build-up to distract from a lazy pun, so the whole thing lives or dies on one turn of phrase. That constraint is why one-liners are the hardest format to write and the easiest one to retell.
Halloween Jokes
Halloween jokes work because the imagery does half the setup for you. Everyone already knows what a ghost, a vampire and a skeleton are supposed to be like, so the punchline only has to break one expectation.
Birthday Jokes
A birthday joke has to fit inside a card, land in a speech and survive being read by the person it is about. That rules out most of the internet and leaves the short, warm ones.
Valentine's Jokes
The best Valentine's material is openly cheesy. A line that pretends to be smooth ages badly; a line that admits it is ridiculous gets a laugh and, occasionally, a reply.