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One-Liners

11 jokes

A one-liner has no room to warm you up. Setup and punchline share a single sentence, so every word has to earn its place and the last word has to do the damage. It is the most unforgiving format in comedy and the most useful one in real life.

Use these when you have exactly one shot: a toast, a group chat, an awkward silence in a lift. If you need something longer, the dad jokes and puns sections give you a little more runway.

🇬🇧 EN#o1

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

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🇬🇧 EN#o2

I'm terrified of elevators.

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🇬🇧 EN#o3

Parallel lines have so much in common.

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🇩🇰 DA#o4

Jeg har en fobi for hastighedsbump.

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🇬🇧 EN#o5

I have a joke about chemistry,

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🇬🇧 EN#o6

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.

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🇬🇧 EN#o7

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

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🇬🇧 EN#o8

Two fish are in a tank.

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🇬🇧 EN#o9

I'm on a whiskey diet.

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🇩🇰 DA#o10

Jeg spurgte min hund, hvad der er over huset.

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🇩🇰 DA#o11

Jeg gav min tid til frivilligt arbejde.

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Frequently asked questions

How long can a one-liner be?
One sentence. The moment it needs a second sentence to set up, it has become a short joke instead — still funny, just a different tool.
Are one-liners good for speeches?
They are the safest choice. Short jokes fail quietly if they miss, while a long story that dies takes the whole room with it.