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Short Jokes

61 jokes

A short joke has nowhere to hide. There is no story to carry a weak ending and no build-up to distract from a lazy pun, so the whole thing lives or dies on one turn of phrase. That constraint is why one-liners are the hardest format to write and the easiest one to retell.

Everything on this page fits in a single breath, which makes it the section to raid before a wedding speech, a group chat or an awkward pause in a meeting. Read one, remember it, use it within the hour.

🇬🇧 EN#o1

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

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🇬🇧 EN#p1

I used to be a banker,

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🇬🇧 EN#d1

Why don't skeletons fight each other?

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🇬🇧 EN#t1

Why do programmers prefer dark mode?

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🇬🇧 EN#en1

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

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🇬🇧 EN#o2

I'm terrified of elevators.

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🇬🇧 EN#p2

Time flies like an arrow.

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🇬🇧 EN#d2

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

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🇬🇧 EN#t2

There are 10 kinds of people in the world:

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🇬🇧 EN#en2

What do you call fake spaghetti?

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🇬🇧 EN#o3

Parallel lines have so much in common.

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🇬🇧 EN#p3

I'm on a seafood diet.

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🇬🇧 EN#d3

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

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🇬🇧 EN#t3

Why did the developer go broke?

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🇬🇧 EN#en3

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

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Frequently asked questions

How short is a short joke?
As a rule of thumb: if you cannot say it before the listener looks at their phone, it is not a short joke. Most entries here are one or two sentences.
Are short jokes good for speeches?
They are the safest option. A long joke that fails costs you a minute of silence, while a one-liner that fails is over before anyone has decided how to react.