English Classics
11 jokes
These are the English-language standards — the jokes that have been retold so many times that nobody remembers who wrote them. They survive because the structure is close to perfect: minimal setup, single twist, no wasted words.
Treat this category as the baseline. Once these land reliably, the puns and one-liners sections give you material that requires a little more from the room.
Frequently asked questions
- Are these jokes original?
- These are traditional jokes in the public domain, retold in our own words, alongside fresh material from open joke APIs and jokes written by our community.
- Can I submit my own?
- Yes. Create an account and submit through your profile — every submission is reviewed by a moderator before it goes live.
Every english classics on one page
Each joke has its own page with the punchline, a share link and related jokes. Browse the full list below.
- Why don't scientists trust atoms?
- What do you call fake spaghetti?
- Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
- Why did the bicycle fall over?
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
- What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
- How does the moon cut his hair?
- Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
- Why don't oysters share their pearls?
- What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
- I told my computer I needed a break.
Related reading
Funny Jokes
Most joke lists are padded. This one is not: every entry below has been picked because it survives being read on a screen with no delivery, no timing and no laughing friend nearby to help it along. If a joke only works when a comedian says it, it did not make the list.
Knock Knock Jokes
The knock knock joke is the first joke most people ever learn, and that is exactly why it keeps working. It hands the listener a script: they know their two lines, they say them, and they walk straight into the punchline they helped build. No other joke format makes the audience a co-author.
Short Jokes
A short joke has nowhere to hide. There is no story to carry a weak ending and no build-up to distract from a lazy pun, so the whole thing lives or dies on one turn of phrase. That constraint is why one-liners are the hardest format to write and the easiest one to retell.